Sunday 20 May 2012

RL = Real Life / Real Love

On May 7th, my lovely RL partner and Real Love was taken before his time.  He was just 49. 

*****

I don't know if it's appropriate to blog this...  I don't know because i've never been through this before.  I can't even put down the words in a straightforward way in case it looks like attention seeking.    But i need to get this out.  

Perhaps someone will read this and take it as a wake-up call.  I don't know. 

Please don't do as i did for the past 18 months and make SL your entire world.  What if you were to lose the one thing of  any value to you in REAL LIFE?   What then?  Then where would you be?  

My partner in RL knew that i loved him because i told him everyday.   I'm glad that i did, and not just because of the things i was getting up to in SL.  :-(   For my part, i knew that i was his entire universe.  His love was unconditional and complete, and he never would've abandoned me.   Rather, he was taken and i miss him terribly.

I cannot for the life of me (and i do mean the *life* of me) understand why it should've been him and not me.   I'm not a religious person, but the only thing that makes sense is that he was taken because he was already "saved".  He wasn't a church goer, but he was the kindest, most christian man i've ever met -- and if that isn't enough, then i don't know what is.  I've yet to meet anyone in either life who could hold a candle to him. 

I'm not looking for sympathy.  And i certainly don't need / want attention from those who never cared about me in the first place.   I'm posting this because i was stupid and i let SL take over, and i shouldn't have.  Let my story stand as a warning to others.   Let me be the person you DON'T want to become.  Make your RL the thing that counts and never lose sight of the people and things that matter.

I love you, dear E, and i always have.  I got distracted for a while is all.




The only reason i'm holding it together right now is because you told me you'd never give up on me -- just so long as i don't give up on myself. 

Sleep sweetly, and wait for me.  I love you forever.

Saturday 5 May 2012

What have I got in my Handses?

When one door slams shut, almost slicing off the tips of your fingers in the process, you don't notice any other doors.  You're so busy nursing your bruised fingers and trying to kick in that one closed door that you almost fail to see the half dozen other doors quietly opening on either side. 

There's a complicated interplay of light and shadow on the tiled floor.  The merest whisper of a soft breeze tickles the nape of your neck.  There's a rustling as of thousands of young trees shaking their branches. 

Tentatively you approach the nearest open door and hesitate --  but only for a second.  Crossing the threshold, you take a deep breath; feel your lungs expand. Colour and light flood your retina.

And then you see it.  The thing that you thought you'd lost.  It's right there, sitting in the palm of your hand.  You can almost taste its citrus tang on your tongue.  You bite down hard, wantonly letting the juice run down your chin ...



And, before you say it, the answer is NOT 'penis'.  Try again!