I don't know why you're here. I don't want to know, for the most part, unless we have interests in common. However, if you've come inworld to look for free sex - and i know a lot of you do -- you'd better at least look the part. We can talk about things like charm and personality and s.o.h. elsewhere, but if you're serious about enticing the opposite sex you need first to look at your avatar. This may come as news, but women also enjoy looking at something well put together.
Let's not mince words here. There’s something ludicrous – even off-putting – about newbs who haven't yet learned how to dress themselves trying to hook up for sex. If you're going to treat SL as a sex game, then learn how to play it with distinction. And the first step is for you to be wearing clothes that fit you and which are not - i cannot stress this enough - full perm. There's nothing in the rules to suggest you have to look halfway decent (in fact if you ever find a list of rules, please tell me) but, as in RL, if you turn up at a singles bar with your underwear outside your clothes you fail.
Designers are forever improving their work and bringing out new items to make you look good. Whatever you've got now, please consider upgrading it: skin, hair, eyes, AO. And not forgetting clothes if you actually own any (and i don't mean system clothes or that freebie t-shirt you retrieved from your "library"). Moreover, it's kind of creepy if you're seen wearing the same shirt and pants for months on end. You wouldn't do it in RL so please don't assume it goes un-noticed here. There's NO excuse for such laziness. Really, any woman will tell you the same; any woman who isn't a man, that is. Still wearing that same hair a friend gave you when you were a newb? I think it's time you got a restyle.
I can't tell you exactly what constitutes an attractive male shape as taste varies, but i do know that pushing any of the sliders up to the max isn't it. That triangular shaped torso you favour? We laugh at it. Females do it so much better! For one thing, they don't give off such a whiff of desperation. And the ones who do look a bit crap are very likely men. [You think we can't tell? The breasts are too large, they're joined together in the middle (it's called a cleavage layer; you're supposed to wear it with clothes, duh!), the waist is minute and the shoulders a mile wide. You guys really love your triangular shapes!]
When it comes to eyes, there's a pervading cult of "will this do-ism" which remains prevalent even amongst those on their 2nd or 3rd alt and who really should know better. Those soulless, opaque orbs really aren't helping you any. I shouldn't need to say it, but the eyes that came attached to your default avatar Will. Not. Do. Get your eye colour wrong and it messes up the entire face. Step past the turquoise eyes please; move along, move along. The same goes for that hideous shade of frogspawn green (the ruin of many a promising face). It just looks WRONG.
Ditto grotesquely over-sized genitalia. A LITTLE exaggeration's fine (we’d worry if you didn’t) but an elephant's trunk makes it look as though you're over-compensating. Moreover, it's not really fit for purpose, is it? **Female avie glances down and observes strange fleshy protruberance punching its way through her stomach** Not so much "Nine and a Half Weeks" as "Alien", i'd say.
DO consider using some sort of Animation Overrider (AO). The default stand is a no-no. It makes you look like a chimpanzee. Yes, we DO notice and it DOES matter. When i see that stance on any man, i move away pronto. I don't know what it's called, but there's a popular AO that has the guy wandering around in circles. That's not very polite, is it, when you're trying to engage a lady in conversation? Oh, and that nodding movement of the head every time you type a line? Every bit as horrid as the typing anim. Lose it.
The following are unacceptable under any circs:
Bling;
Body oil;
Goat legs (ask Squashy – it's been months and she's still tramumatised);
And not forgetting -- tadah! -- our old friend, the freenis. Most ladies do not fraternise with the freenis.
The freenis is pale, misshapen, oversized and protrudes at an exaggerated angle. It is inherently incapable of dangling companionably against a male thigh. It never ever matches the avatar's skin which is, for some reason, always a deep shade of tan. There are many varieties of freenis but the most offensive is possibly the "uncut" variant. Think of a sausage roll with the filling poking out. Trust me, it is VILE.
Squashy had several close encounters with the freenis. It only stopped when i advised her in no uncertain terms that if she ever did it again she'd be deleted, no questions asked. For example, on one occasion, the South Carolina 'ribbon' blithely told her in the middle of the non-event that was their coupling that, yes, he fully intended to replace his noobstick "but only when the time was right". Way to go, South Carolina! How sensitive! This is the same chap who, too mean to purchase his own sex furniture, used to spend much of his SL time "breaking and entering" in order to use other people's. I knew there was a reason for that security orb! *hurls him and his nasty noob cock into digital hyperspace*
Now, where was i?
Ah, yes. Fixing up one's avatar. It's not THAT difficult. And it's really the least you can do if you want to meet some 'nice' ladies and, uhm, take things further. Really, it needn't be expensive at all. I personally know several guys (at least i assume they're guys) with great looking avies who barely spent a penny on their look. In fact, all you need do is follow a few freebie blogs and join some groups; that way you get your hands on a ton of good quality free stuff. Trust me, designers give away great gifts ALL the time. (Only please don't spam the groups for sex; you'll be booted out quicker than you can say 'noobstick'). Do, however, avoid the huge boxes of free shite at those warehouse type places. That mountain of tat will still be there in a couple of years' time when you find your inventory running you instead of the other way round (yes, we know you guys can't manage inventory; that goes without saying).
If you're serious about finding someone to perch on a pink poseball for you, at least make youself look presentable. Without a modicum of effort on your part you're not getting any. And neither should you.
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