This post was going to be entitled Thoughts on SL Partnering - Part Three. But then it turned into a rant instead. I make no apologies for that. There's nothing like uncorking a decent rant and getting it all out (there). I suppose, too, i wanted to talk a bit about how my views had changed, or appeared to have changed. Of course, it all depends on how well you know me. To some, this will come as no surprise at all, and i call those people friends in the real sense and meaning of the word. I know you know who you are. <3
It's true that in 16 months i'd never partnered here, and doubted that i would. I thought i was dead set against it. I liked the idea of variety and talked about it a lot. The idea. But having an idea of something isn't the same as experiencing it. What was supposed to add spice only gave me a severe case of irritable bowel. Again, i'm fortunate that i had -- and have -- a few good friends worth any number of 'variety packs'.
In short, i had multiple hook-ups and kidded myself I was having "fun". Oh, i tried really hard! Unfortunately, I'm far from dead inside and I feel things. FYI, the expression of such is not 'drama' and those who believe it is might like to be honest about their intentions from the get-go.
Eg: "I regard my SL as a sex game / casual dating game. What's your view on this, and how do YOU play?"
Of course, the sh*ts never come right out and say it, 'cos they know it decimates the chances of them actually getting any. They may be sh*ts but they're not stupid. That's what makes them dangerous. I call them predators.
Initially, I was flattered to be getting so much attention. I've never had that in RL, being somewhat the shy and retiring type. In Second Life, i am not. It was a revelation. I was even vain enough to think that it was my witty and erudite conversation that was drawing in the guys. How green was i. The only reason i was getting so much attention was due to the places i hung out and the type of people i ran up against. TBH, any avatar with female 'humps' will likely draw the same attention; it's practically guaranteed. Add to this the fact that I'd never cyber-sexed before and didn't understand that the majority of my so-called 'admirers' were looking for a quick fap fap fap behind the anonymity of their keyboards, and nothing more.
There are guys in SL who, in order to seduce me (yes, the ME inside me) would give me to believe i was the most awesome creature imaginable. To hear them talk, it wasn't just my avie; it was my personality, my intellect; it was this, it was that and the other. They "never wanted to lose me", etc, etc. They'd worm their way in, enjoy my company and warmth; the benefit of my superior and well-crafted emotes (always freshly minted for the occasion, if i do say so myself). Then would follow the denouement; the kick me in the teeth; the SL equivalent of, "Oh, but i'm not that into you", should i demonstrate the barest hint of real, human feeling. Inevitably, any protest on my part would be greeted with an accusation of 'drama', that ubiquitous 'get out of jail free' card. How original! How callous. Funny how it's me who's in the wrong for - zomg! - taking it all so seriously. Funny, 'cos from where i'm standing it wasn't me who was being disingenuous or outright dishonest.
So, this is to you. And not forgetting you. And i definitely haven't forgotten about YOU, either. Yes, you may go and fuck yourselves, by all means. It's what you're here for, after all: You and your right hand and your miserable one-handed typing skills. Just leave me the hell out of it, k?
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